Private Dancer
by Milaya Milen Zeal
Summary: Paine hates strip clubs and strippers, but when she has no choice but to go to one for Yuna's bachelorette party, she becomes entranced almost instantly by the club's number 1 stripper/dancer, Kuja... [KuNe] (Putting it here temporarily before putting it back in Xovers)


_**Private Dancer**_

 **Fandom:** Final Fantasy (mostly IX and X, but others are also mentioned)

 **Setting:** AU

 **Pairing(s):** Kuja/Paine (main), mention of Tidus/Yuna, Gippal/Rikku, Wakka/Lulu, Zidane/Garnet and Vivi/Mikoto

 **Rating:** M

 **Summary:** Paine hates strip clubs and strippers, but when she has no choice but to go to one for Yuna's bachelorette party, she becomes entranced almost instantly by the club's number 1 stripper/dancer, Kuja...

* * *

 _ **-I-**_

If there was one thing that Paine hated, it was strip clubs. If there was another, then it was the strippers inhabiting them. Female strippers tended to be so thin that Paine was sure they would fly away if a strong gust of wind so much as touched them, and the male strippers were just so bulky that they bore more resemblance to a brick wall than a person. Neither of the two appealed to Paine _at all_ , which often left her to wonder if perhaps she was asexual... because that would make the most sense why she had never shown any kind of interest in anyone before.

But yes, Paine did _not_ like going to strip clubs **at all**.

...so why was she in one right now?

Because of one of her best friends' "bachelorette party", that's why.

Tidus had _finally_ asked Yuna the question, and with the wedding drawing ever closer, Rikku had decided to throw their best friend an actual party rather than a boring bridal shower as everyone had been going on about. And, as one of Yuna's closest friends, Paine was expected to come along, too.

And she was _not_ amused by this. She swore to herself, at the first given opportunity, she was _out_ of there.

Unfortunately, the party had just started, and her friends were hardly drunk enough to not see her leaving. Lulu seemed about as enthused as Paine, but she made a valiant effort for Yuna, if only to make sure the bride-to-be didn't actually get herself in trouble by drinking _too_ much.

Paine wondered absently how she had convinced Wakka to let her go to the party, until she remembered that this was Lulu she was talking about.

The "shows" thus far had been less than entertaining - to Paine, anyway - and it took a lot of effort for her to either not flinch away in disgust or yawn in boredom. Rikku, on the other hand, was freely throwing wolf whistles and cat calls at the dancers, to the amusement of the other women present and the obvious pride of the strippers.

Paine, of course, did not care, and she actually only drank some water and a coke so that she could freely drive herself home once the others were either preoccupied or too intoxicated to care.

* * *

The party had started at seven, and it was now almost nine. The others had each consumed their fair share of alcohol, except for Yuna, who wisely chose to switch to water after her third beverage (mainly because of Lulu).

Paine wasn't sure how long they intended to drag this party on, but she figured she'd suffered through enough by this point. So she finished off her drink, quietly set it down and rose from her seat. Sadly, out of all people, Rikku happened to see her getting up from over the rim of her glass.

"Hey Paine! Where ya goin'?" she slurred, immediately drawing attention to her.

She resisted the urge to groan in annoyance and said instead: "Home. I've had enough."

" _Nuuuu!_ " Rikku wailed as she practically flung herself across Lulu's lap to grab Paine's hand before she could get far. "Dun go jus' yet! 's Jus' startin'!"

'That's exactly what I'm afraid off...' Paine thought, but out loud, all she said was: "Let go, Rikku!"

"Nuh-uh!"

"Let. Go!"

"Not 'til ya stay fer 't least un more dance! _Please pretty please?_ "

Paine groaned. She was going to regret this. "Fine! Just _one_ more, but that's _**it!**_ "

"Yay!"

If this was Rikku at her friend's party, Paine shuddered to think what she would be like at her own. At that time, she envied Light for being able to get out of going because of her part time job at the cafe.

Paine demanded - not asked, _demanded_ because goddamn she was in a BAD mood now - another coke and settled with her arms and legs crossed. And as the lights dimmed and the next was announced, Paine was not even paying attention, now openly yawning and very much not caring in the least. All she caught was the end snippet as she took a swig of her drink;

"...you've been waiting for; _Kuja!_ "

The words were followed by a sudden roar of approval from the crowd, startling both Paine and her friends. Paine was not an expert on strip clubs, but she _did_ know that the strippers/dancers were rarely called out by name, which likely meant this one had to be, somehow, different.

Not that she had long to think on it as a smooth voice called out from the darkness;

" _Let's dance, boys!_ "

And then the music kicked in as the lights focused back on the stage, and the first thing that caught Paine's eye was the person's hair; silvery platinum blonde all the way to the thighs which curled up just slightly at the tips. But as the sound of a saxophone began blaring through the club, there was motion and Paine could only stare.

At first, even as the dance continued, Paine wasn't sure if she was looking at a man or a woman; the long hair and sleek curves certainly gave off the impression of a woman, but at the same time the muscles that moved those limbs could not be associated with anything but a man. However, one look lower and there was no denying that this person was a male, despite the red eyeshadow that she spotted on his feminine face.

His movements were swift yet graceful, perfectly in sync with the music that seemed to have no strict rhythm and seemed to change every time she thought she knew how it flowed; almost as if _he_ was conducting the music rather than the other way around. His clothes were skin-tight - as was the case with all dancers there - yet he made them look good, somehow, plus it was like they melted away when the light shone on them _just_ right, a single feather-shaped headpiece the color of his hair rested across his left temple, and he walked - or danced, really - on a pair of heels that were more like just a sole and heel with two straps rather than actual shoes, and he did so as well as any woman (minus Paine) would naturally walk on them in everyday life. His nails were long and painted a silvery purple (or so it looked in the dark), and even his toenails were painted the same color.

He didn't actually strip anything (though the shifting light certainly made it seem that way at times); he only danced sensually to the music's pulse, moving his entire body to the beat. There wasn't a single part of his body that was held still throughout the dance, ever.

The music built itself up layer for layer and even when she thought the song was as good as over it kicked it right back into gear for a final crescendo where all the stops were pulled, and Paine felt her mouth going dry, but she didn't dare raise her glass to take a swig for fear of missing anything. Hell, she barely dared to _blink_.

And then, suddenly, his eyes found hers and she choked. Silvery purple locked onto startled garnet and for a brief moment in time, it was like everything froze, as time itself seemed to stop. He never stopped moving, but his eyes remained on hers for much longer than they have needed to... and then he smiled; a slow, seductive smile that Paine knew was solely his and meant exclusively for her.

And just before the music ended, his mouth moved to form four silent words...

And as everyone else screamed, applauded or whistled, shouting out "encore" and whatnot, Paine swallowed, _hard_.

" _You wanna touch me?_ "

* * *

 **There's not enough stories about this pairing... it needs some more lovin'!**

 **In all honesty, Kuja being a stripdancer does not sound like something out of his charscter... given how he dresses** _ **normally**_ **, after all. But anyway, the song Kuja dances to is literally called "Let's dance, boys!" and is the ending song for** _ **Bayonetta**_ **. If you don't know how this jazzy song goes or how the moves to it go, look it up and just picture Kuja dancing instead of Bayonetta.**

 **Enjoy. :)**


End file.
